feeling/doing well!

I really need to get into posting more. I was doing sooo well for a while there, and then life happens. Silly life lol. Anyways, I've been doing well! Lost a couple more lbs and I finally bit the bullet and joined a gym! The way my mom puts it, is I need to feel like i'm worth the money, time and effort...and I do. I figured if I cut out one small expense a week i'm worth the expense of the gym. It's one more bill but at the same time, you only get one life. I've gone to the gym twice so far, and I've only been a member for like 5 days now. Unfortunately work gets in the way, and my foot has been an issue but i'm gonna push through it. My doc wants my foot imobilized and for me to rest it for a couple of days in a row. No way I can do that till monday when I'm off. I can't just call out of work :( Unfortunately. Plus being on my feet at work isn't the best, but, i'm doing what i've gotta do. I also went for the first time to the gym after work! I'm trying real hard to make an effort. I have a personal training session on tuesday that i'm really looking forward to! Just staying positive...taking it one day at a time :D
<3 Irena

I'm still going

Unfortunately I havn't lost anything this past week. I feel like a failure. I'm trying so hard not to kick myself and hate myself. Tonight I go to sleep the same weight I've been for 2 weeks now, and tomorrow I wake up and start fresh. Writing down my calories, taking control. I WANT this. I need this. For my physical health, my mental health. I'm still down 10 lbs, which is huge for me. I didn't gain it back. But...i need the scale to drop. I am also going tomorrow to check out gyms. I decided that even though I'm broke as hell, that's one thing that I need to spend money on. I'll just find the cheapest one I can find, and put money aside so I don't spend it. Not that I spend. on anything :( I maybe spend about 20 bucks a month total on things for myself...the rest goes to bills. It's absurd. I work all the time and have nothing to show for it. So I think it's time that something in my life was rewarding...and it should be my weight loss. I hope I can find a nice gym tomorrow and get motivated to spend some serious time in it. I hate working out. It's boring, and can be painful...and I'd much rather be relaxing. But that's an attitude that needs to change, and I think over time it will. It's all about conditioning....So i'll try my very best to re-train my brain to like working out. Maybe I never will, but i'll damn sure push myself to do it anyways. And I have plenty of people supporting me which means the world.

<3 Irena