Sunday, April 3, 2011

I'm still going

Unfortunately I havn't lost anything this past week. I feel like a failure. I'm trying so hard not to kick myself and hate myself. Tonight I go to sleep the same weight I've been for 2 weeks now, and tomorrow I wake up and start fresh. Writing down my calories, taking control. I WANT this. I need this. For my physical health, my mental health. I'm still down 10 lbs, which is huge for me. I didn't gain it back. But...i need the scale to drop. I am also going tomorrow to check out gyms. I decided that even though I'm broke as hell, that's one thing that I need to spend money on. I'll just find the cheapest one I can find, and put money aside so I don't spend it. Not that I spend. on anything :( I maybe spend about 20 bucks a month total on things for myself...the rest goes to bills. It's absurd. I work all the time and have nothing to show for it. So I think it's time that something in my life was rewarding...and it should be my weight loss. I hope I can find a nice gym tomorrow and get motivated to spend some serious time in it. I hate working out. It's boring, and can be painful...and I'd much rather be relaxing. But that's an attitude that needs to change, and I think over time it will. It's all about conditioning....So i'll try my very best to re-train my brain to like working out. Maybe I never will, but i'll damn sure push myself to do it anyways. And I have plenty of people supporting me which means the world.

<3 Irena


  1. Sometimes I find working out boring too, but not anymore. The gym I've been to offers ZUMBA which is a really fun dance class! I also find other classes fun like spinning and kickboxing.
    I'm currently looking for a new gym as well.....but i dont have much money to spend on it : (. i tried the newport athletic club and i hated how the cardio machines circle the weights, i hate feeling like people are watching me. it was only 25$ a month! but it might be worth it for me paying more to feel more comfortable.

  2. We have to change frame of mind, it's "me" time, it has to be the same as painting your nails or buying something pretty. I'm sure you'll find something that works for you, and I look forward to hearing about the next pound you lose!!!


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