I can't believe it's been a whole week since I posted. My mom said something to me about it tonight, as did my sister, and I couldn't believe it had been an entire week. Time really flies when all you do is work and sleep haha. I have to say, maybe I didn't write as much because I wasn't as proud of myself this week. I didn't gain anything, but I didn't really lose anything further either. I know, I shouldn't let that get in my way, but it's a minor set back. I have to realize that not every day is gonna be a good day, and not every week will be perfect, but that this has to be more of a lifestyle change than a "diet." I have the day off tomorrow and come hell or high water I will spend at least an hour working out. I have the time, and with some sleep I'll have the energy. I need to push myself because clearly just watching what I eat isn't enough. I need to be even more aware of everything I put in my mouth. Write it all down and stuff. I had a talk with my mom and it makes me so sad to see how dependant people are on food. How for some people it's the only thing that makes them "happy" and I 1000% don't want to be one of those people. My life will not revolve around food. It's a source of nourishment, not a source of happiness and I need to continue to remind myself that. Happiness is being active, living a long healthy life, being able to have children some day, finding love, loving myself.
I have to say, my mom is the best. Not only would she do anything and everything she can for me, but she is always there to support me in everything I do. She is proud of me for trying, encouraging when I fail and although we have our issues, she's an amazing friend. She's been so good in buying healthy food for me to eat and in keeping all the bad choices out of the house. She also offered to get me a gym membership, because I can't afford it. I can't take her up on it because I know she doesn't have the funds for it either, but the fact that she would further put herself out for me like that means the world. Hopefully another 6 months or so I'll have made a small dent in my debts and I'll be able to make a monthly gym payment. Till then, I'll just keep doing what i'm doing and working with what I've got. I have plenty of resources at home and I'll make it happen for myself one way or the other. It makes me feel so lucky to have people who love me and worry about me so much. I don't want to let them down, and this week, I wont!