shame on me!! :(

It's been sooo long since i've written anything and I feel terrible about it. I kept meaning to, and I'd say ohhh tomorrow, and then the next day, and soon enough, it's been almost a month! Well, I can't say i've lost all that much, which makes me pretty angry, but I am back on track this past week and I'm doing well. Going to the gym every other day, and working out hard when I'm there. I'm down 2 lbs in 2 days...since my last gym trip so, can't get toooo down on myself. It's way easier to get down on myself and say forget it than to get back into it and get my ass to the gym. So, I'm just getting to the gym and not thinking about the past couple of bad weeks. Not that they were "bad" but I wasn't counting calories as I should. I didn't gain anything back, but I wasn't losing either. I'm giving myself a month to lose another 15 lbs. I wanna be down at least a pant size by the time the beginning of june and the warm weather rolls around. Today I accomplished something I have been afraid to do. I always see on the biggest loser that they run in intervals on the treadmill. Push themselves for a minute or two and then jump off, then do it again etc. I have always been afraid to run on the treadmill. I'm not sure why. I guess it's the idea of people watching my big butt run, and being afraid i'd fall off, or not be able to keep up. But today I pushed my boundaries and after my half hour on the elliptical, I decided it was time to try some running intervals. And I did it! I got my pace up to where I usually do, which is a fast powerwalk and then in 60 second intervals ran, and then went back to a power walk. It was a big deal for me and I plan on trying it again tomorrow. I decided I don't care how I look up on that treadmill if it's gonna make me lose weight. The people that work at the gym are getting to know me, and are so friendly. It's nice to go and people are welcoming and encouraging. The last thing I want to do after a day of work like today, or before I go to work, like tomorrow, is go to the gym....but I'm doing it. I'm gonna force myself until I love it. Or I'll just forever force myself haha. We shall see! Either way, plan on hearing a lot more from me since I refuse to let this blog die.
<3 Irena