Day 10: I want chocolate lol

Yup, it's true. All I want right now are those god damn little cadburry eggs for easter. They are pretty much my fav thing, and I could eat a million of em. I went to cvs today to pick up a couple of things, and it took every damn ounce of strength I had not to buy some. There they were sitting in the middle of the aisle, nestled yummily between the bunny rabbit shaped chocolates and the little peeps I also adore. But I kept walking, told myself they would still be there another day if I really wanted them...and I left, without candy. The old Irena would have bought a pack or two and prob have finished one before I even drove home. I'm really trying though to not be that same person. To have will power, and to know that it's for my own good.

I hate that saying...for my own good. It's like, anything you hate, or don't want to do, or that makes you totally miserable is allowable since it's "for your own good". In this case though, it was for my own good, and I'm happy I made it out chocolate free.

I'm still having some trouble working out. I have been feeling like i'm getting sick for prob 2 weeks now. Sore throat, achey body...then there's my damn foot. I'm truly trying to push myself but working on my feet takes a lot out of me. I really need a job that allows me to sit at points during the day, so when I get home I'm not too tired to do anything else. I might make an apt to see the doctor about this "feeling sick" thing. Cause it's getting real old already. It's like....I should either get sick, or get better.

I'm also learning a lot about self respect, and personal growth. I am no longer willing to let anyone, men or women take advantage of my good nature. I feel that too many people over look me as someone who is just "going to be there" because I am the kind of friend who is always there. It's going to be a rude awakening when all of a sudden I'm not there, willing to jump at a call and just let people float in and out of my life. It's the same principle with dating, friendships...all of it. You can't expect me to just be there when you decide you want me, and then that it's ok when you are too busy or don't want me. I have to learn to say no to people, which is something that's hard for me. And I have to learn to say no to myself. I started with saying no to chocolate today...hopefully tomorrow I'll do just as well :-D
<3 Irena